Just Be...

So I was just singing my daughter to sleep. I always sing the same song to her. She calls it "Tender Shepherd". The real name of the song is "Come Unto Me". My mom sang it to me, I started singing it to my kids when I was still pregnant with them, and now, my daughter asks for it every night. And tonight, I cried. You see, there is the possibility of a deployment coming up, nursing school on the horizon, a new business venture with Pangea Organics, and dreams that seem to never be within grasp. All that and autistic children. There are some that would say "suck it up" or "put on your big girl panties", but they have never had to really worry about whether their children were ever going to be normal or not. One of the things that was running through my mind as I sang was "how am I going to get through the drs appointments, the medication changes, everything that goes along with having special needs children...by myself...without my best friend, my love, my husband here?" And I realized that I have been singing this amazing song, but never really listened to the words or let them settle on my heart. Scriptural reference is Matthew 11:28.

"Hear the blessed savior calling the oppressed,

1. “Oh, ye heavy-laden, come to Me and rest;
   Come, no longer tarry, I your load will bear,
   Bring Me every burden, bring Me every care.”
   • Come unto Me, I will give you rest;
     Take My yoke upon you, hear Me and be blest;
     I am meek and lowly, come and trust My might;
     Come, My yoke is easy, and My burden’s light.
2. Are you disappointed, wand’ring here and there,
   Dragging chains of doubt and loaded down with care?
   Do unholy feelings struggle in your breast?
   Bring your case to Jesus—He will give you rest.
3. Stumbling on the mountains dark with sin and shame,
   Stumbling toward the pit of hell’s consuming flame;
   By the pow’rs of sin deluded and oppressed,
   Hear the tender Shepherd, “Come to Me and rest.”
4. Have you by temptation often conquered been,
   Has a sense of weakness brought distress within?
   Christ will sanctify you, if you’ll claim His best;
   In the Holy Spirit, He will give you rest."

There are some in this world that say "Just Be". I have realized that I can't "just be". Maybe some people can get away with that, but I can't just be. I have to give it all away, even the "be" part. I have to lay my heavy burden at the feet of my Savior, my Heavenly Father, and let Him take care of it. He said that he would give me rest, so I have to let him take the load off my shoulders and so that I can have peace and rest. If I don't, I will be consumed by my life instead of me living it in God's grace. I already have the grace, so how do I let it all go? How does that work? I am still trying to figure it out. If you were looking for answers to deep questions, you are reading the wrong blog, lol, 'cause I am still trying to figure that all out for myself. So if anyone that reads this has figured out the "Let go and Let God" part of all this, please share! I just wanted to share my inner most feelings tonight.