First off, Let me take this time to thank all the veterans on this Veteran's Day, especially my father (Navy), my husband (Army), my great-uncle and great-aunt (Army), my Paw-paw (Navy), my granddad (Navy) my great-grandfather (Army) and my uncle David (Navy), and all of the rest of our friends that are just too numerous to count. Your sacrifice is/was great. It isn't enough to have monuments and days dedicated, or thanks said to you. It is all just the LEAST we can do. I know I will be forever grateful for my husband and my father.
Let's start with how everyone is doing: everyone is fine. Hokie, I know, but true nonetheless. I am finishing up my CNA this week (hopefully), the kids are doing relatively well at school, my husband is out training in the field for…nevermind that…and everyone is excited for the new puppy we pick up next week.
Moving on to the kids: we have started the process of ABA therapy for the kids. Sigh…and now I am probably going to turn around and tell them to go take a hike. It is such a complete invasion of privacy. This woman is going to be sticking her nose in all kinds of places it doesn't belong. Access to school and it's records, access to med docs that pertain to ASDs, telling Every. Last. Thing. to the insurance company. I mean come on! Not even my female parts doctor is that invasive…and she sees, well, you know. AND she will be here at the house up to 15 hours per week. I don't even see my husband that much. Seriously… So now I am thinking of starting to do behavior modification techniques on my own throughout the holiday season to see how it goes. I might be emotionally involved, but I really think I can do this. Well, maybe. All things are possible through Christ, right?? Prayers on that front please! And speaking of Christ, we are a Christian family, and I always want that to be part of our therapy if possible. The woman said she is a believer, but didn't want to say anything more. So, what KIND of believer? In Christ, in a "higher being", in aliens? Yeah, the whole thing just seems suspect. AND she said that in the state of Tennessee it is illegal to spank children with special needs and if she believes they are being spanked then we get our kids taken away! Now I understand that it is illegal, but what if the kids haul off and say that we have been beating them, or hitting them, or spanking, or anything like that??? Then we lose our kids for good and go to prison?? Our kids are special needs! Our daughter makes stuff like that up all the time!! I'm terrified! Ugh...
Next: I am back in therapy for the whole home invasion crap that happened last year. Seriously, my body needs to catch up to my mind. My mind is so over it, but my body keeps dumping the adrenaline like clockwork, although it is finally getting a little better. EMDR therapy starts really soon. Hopefully that will reprogram my brain.
Next: Hi, my name is Rebekah, and I am an addict…to sweet. Yes, I know that sounds funny, but I have been keeping the sucralose (Splenda) and stevia businesses in business. Everything was sweet! I started noticing that I was CRAVING the SENSATION of sweet on my tongue for EVERYTHING and that I was getting an instant feel good gratification when I got it (thanks to DOPAMINE release). Truly addicted to sweet. So now I am trying to get UN-addicted and have cut all refined and artificial sweeteners from my diet. PRO: I lost 2.5 lbs in 2 days, and I am so barely hungry o.o ! CON: The withdrawal is crazy. I feel like a heroine addict jones-ing for another hit. I mean, really??? It really sucks. My coffee is really sad every morning…and so is my tea. Sigh…and I HATE water…but I will live. That's the whole point of doing this, right? To make my life better…live longer…I need to stop before I start rethinking my decision to quit.
My husband is at *blank* doing *blank* for *blank*. He will be *blank* in *blank* to *blank*. Yeah, I know…welcome to my world.
Not sure what else to say. Stressed to the max, dealing with everything, and just trying to scrape by with my sanity intact…wait, I lost that a long time ago. :)
